Slow's Barbecue
The Marketplace
Grand Rapids, Michigan

I have been wanting to visit this place for the longest because I am such a fan of barbecue. I have been to barbecue joints all over the south, and really all over the nation. And initially I heard this was a good place.

Man was I lied to.

This place is first of all is going to die for being tragically hip. And it's funny. Northerners don't know how to eat barbecue so why they bother to come here befuddles me. The table next to me all of the people at their stuff without any sauce. Sheesh.

Anyway on to the specifics. First of all it'a all ala carte meaning they pinch you at every turn. We have paid ala carte before but each side we ordered was ample enough for two. But not here.

So we each ordered a side which of course was extra. I got the waffle fries [which I hate but what else goes with ribs?] and Penny got the cornbread.

When the cornbread came it was yellow, a signal that it's not good. If anyone has ever had the real-deal cornbread it comes white. It's awesome. And the yellow crap was small and certainly not worth $3.50. There were plenty of my waffle fries but most of them came home with me because really, nobody likes these. They aren't awesome hip. They suck.

I ordered the ribs and my wife ordered the sampler plate. These were the worst ribs I've ever had. I got the half rack and I didn't get enough meat to make a sandwich. The last two ribs were the only ones with any meat at all.

My wife's sampler plate came and the brisket was mostly fat. The pulled pork and the chicken were only so-so. Border line bland.

Our waiter had a man-bun so right off the place thinks it's cutting edge but one can't respect a man-bun any more than a hyphenated last name.

This place totally is ridiculously terrible. We dropped $50 bucks for a pathetic half rack of ribs, and a crappy sampler platter with bad fries and horrible cornbread [that wasn't even hot by the way.]

Avoid this place at all costs. I've never done this before, but

Grade: E
This place is terrible and I can't think of a single redeeming quality.